


I Said I Hated You

by kk325



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Battle, F/F, Fluff I guess, Post-Canon, i have no idea what to tag this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-24
Updated: 2015-04-24
Packaged: 2018-03-25 12:18:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3810106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kk325/pseuds/kk325
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lexa is in the heat of a battle when she goes to eliminate a lone sniper working for the Ice Nation, but not everything is what it seems.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Said I Hated You

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah so this probably terrible, and I just had some Clexa feels arise while working on my term paper that I needed to get out. Hopefully you guys don't hate it too much.

The air is thick with smoke and battle cries. A war is being waged all around and Lexa feels alive. She feels so alive, she feels invincible, unstoppable, and she feels in control despite all the chaos around her. She twists plunging her dagger into the throat of the Ice Nation soldier; her sword arm brings her blade up to parry and oncoming attack. The blood from the fallen warrior sprays her face and coats her hands; the warmth of his blood on her only fuels Lexa’s bloodlust even more. Lexa moves like she is water, each move seamlessly flowing into the next, she is a tidal wave crushing her opponents. They will not survive her and the hurricane that is her army.

“Heda!” She hears Indra call, so Lexa quickly moves towards her general, leaving more Ice Nation bodies in her wake. Indra points up towards the hillside; Lexa sees a flash of light from in the trees, “A sniper, Heda, on the ridge. Should I send a small group of warriors to deal with it?” Lexa weighs the options, it would be faster to send a single warrior after the sniper, but that would also be suicide, and while Lexa knows a band of three or four warriors could easily take care of the sniper Lexa shakes her head, she knows she can handle this herself.

“No, I will handle this myself Indra,” Indra opens her mouth to speak and Lexa knows what her general’s words will be so she cuts her off before she can say them, “I am aware that it is a suicide mission for a lone warrior to go against a sniper; but I am not an average warrior Indra, I am Heda, Commander of the coaliton, and I am more than capable of handling this.” And with that Indra nods, clearly biting her tongue against the protests she wishes to voice.

“As you command Heda,” and with that Lexa darts off towards the ridge in search of the sniper. She is stealthy and silent, a ghost moving through the forest. It takes her only a few minutes to track down the sniper’s hiding place. He lies in the brush, a “gilly suit” of leaves and dark green material cloaking his body, and if it wasn’t for the glare off the rifle’s scope Lexa might not have noticed him. She moves to flank the sniper so she can take him by surprise from behind, she wishes to interrogate the man before killing him. Lexa was very curious as to how the Ice Nation had gotten ahold of sniper rifle, after all it was a weapon frequently used by the Mountain Men prior to the Mountain’s fall two summers earlier. Her warriors had told her of how there was always a single sniper at the previous battles against the Ice Nation, yet no one had been able to apprehend the shooter successfully, well Lexa was about to change that.

She dropped down from the tree branch she was perched on, it was directly above the sniper so when she dropped she landed right on his back. The shooter twisted and tried to turn to defend himself, reaching for a pistol lying next to his body, but Lexa was faster and had already pressed her dagger to the throat of her enemy.

“I suggest you don’t move.” She kept the knife’s pressure steady against his jugular and began to pull him up so he was standing. Lexa then used her other hand to remove the hooded shawl that was concealing the sniper’s face. She wished to see the man responsible for killing so many of her warriors.

“Clarke?!” she choked out. Lexa had removed the shawl only to reveal that the sniper wasn’t a he, but rather a blonde-haired she, specifically Clarke Griffin kom Skaikru.

“Hello Lexa.” Lexa was taken aback; she pulled her blade away from Clarke’s throat and took a step backwards. “What surprised to see me?” Clarke’s words were cold and sharp, Lexa could swear she feel a knife being plunged into her chest with each one that Clarke spoke.

Clarke’s blue eyes were colder than Lexa remembered, blue war paint of the Ice Nation was painted around them, her once flawless face was marred by a scar running from her left temple down onto her neck, still Lexa was in awe of Clarke’s beauty. Lexa had heard the tales of how Clarke walked away from her people after the fall of the Mountain and she had heard the whispers of how a girl with hair the color of sunshine had been spotted in the Ice Nation capitol, but Lexa didn’t want to believe it. Yet, here was Clarke before her in Ice Nation war paint shooting the Trikru warriors, shooting at Lexa’s people.

“What are you doing Clarke?” Lexa is struggling to keep her voice steady, struggling to maintain her stoic façade of strength and power, when all she wants to do is to embrace Clarke, to kiss the length of her scar, to feel her lips under her own. All she wants is Clarke, yet she makes no move towards the other woman.

“I’m doing what I have to Lexa,” Clarke’s words were emotionless, but she pauses and Lexa can see a warmth creep into Clarke’s blue eyes, “I’m keeping you safe Lexa.” These words were filled with an unsaid emotion, one that Lexa was all too familiar with, one that she struggled with ever since she met the Sky Princess.

Lexa is puzzled and she knows her face shows her confusion, “How is killing my warriors keeping me safe?”

Clarke just stares back at Lexa, her features are softening, and her eyes not the storm they were at first. Clarke’s hands were restlessly picking at some mud on her hand gun. Lexa watched for a moment, her hand gripping and ungrasping her sword’s hilt. “Clarke….what happened to you?” Lexa lets her walls down and lets all the emotion she feels for Clarke fill her words, her eyes soften and she lets the mask of the Commander fall, knowing only Clarke will see her allowing herself to be weak.

“I killed them all, even the children, Lexa,” Lexa knows that Clarke is talking about what she had to do to save her people from the Mountain after Lexa and her army abandoned the Sky people, abandoned Clarke. “And I couldn’t face my people, my friends afterwards so I just left. I walked away from them. I walked and walked eventually found myself in Polis.”

Hearing that Clarke was in Polis without Lexa’s knowledge peaks her curiosity, “You were in Polis? How did I not know this?” Her and Clarke have both sat down in the brush, hidden from view if anyone were to be nearby but Lexa knows that they are far enough away from the main battle, which was nearing its end when she left, that they won’t be disturbed. Clarke shifts her weight and Lexa can feel her lean slightly into Lexa’s side. Lexa has to fight back the smile that wants to cover her face, her heart beats faster, and she can feel the warmth radiate from Clarke’s skin.

“Well, I kept my hair hidden, and stuck to the shadows. Plus by this point I was coated in mud and blood and had lost a lot of weight, I doubt anyone would have recognized me in that state.” Lexa can hear the pain in Clarke’s voice, the guilt that she still feels for her actions at Mount Weather.

Lexa reaches her hand out and places it on Clarke’s, keeping her eyes down she whispers, “I would have known it was you Clarke, I will always know it’s you. You are seared onto my heart, I could never forget your beauty, no matter how hidden it may be.” Clarke intertwines her fingers with Lexa’s and continues her tale.

“I wandered Polis for about a month, just listening to what people were saying. I had heard gossip about the Ice Nation leaving the coalition and that the Ice Queen was planning on killing you. I knew I couldn’t let that happen so I left and made my way to the Ice Nation. When I finally got there I just waited and observed, but I was eventually caught and brought before the Queen.” Clarke pauses here for a moment, but Lexa does not speak, instead she just rubs her thumb in circles on Clarke’s palm. Lexa will not interrupt Clarke again, she knows the girl’s story is a difficult one and she does not wish to rush her.

“She knew who I was, she interrogated me,” Lexa feels a rage building up in her. The thought of Clarke having to face the same tortures that Costia did fueled an anger inside her that she knew would not die down anytime soon, but still she said nothing, just continued moving her thumb in circles on Clarke’s palm.

“It’s how I got the scar, from her,” before Lexa knows what she is doing she turns and places a soft, chaste kiss on Clarke’s temple where the long scar starts. Clarke’s hand tightens around Lexa’s and Lexa sees a single tear fall from Clarke. It falls following the same path as that damn scar. Lexa wants nothing more than to tear the flesh from the Ice Queen while she still breathes, she wishes to inflict the damage of a thousand blades on that damn woman for causing Clarke this pain. So, she makes a silent vow to herself that she will see that vile, treacherous woman suffer or die trying. She will get justice for Clarke's suffering, after all jus drein jus duan.

“Eventually she told me of her plan to march her armies south and to wage war against your and the Trikru. She told me how she would not stop until she…” Clarke’s voice gets caught in her throat; she pauses and composes herself before continuing on. “…Until she ripped your head from your body with her bare hands. I couldn’t let that happen, not to you Lexa. I needed to keep you safe. So I began to tell them about how I hated you, how you had abandoned my people at the Mountain like a coward; she slowly began to believe me when I told her that I wanted nothing more than to hunt you and your people down till you were no more. I bought her trust, and then when I learned that her scouts acquired a sniper rifle I offered to be the sniper and to follow her armies into battle and lay down covering fire, picking off Trikru warriors when I could.”

Clarke is now looking at Lexa, her blue eyes begging to be forgiven, and it takes all of Lexa’s willpower to not just grab Clarke’s face and kiss her and tell her she is forgiven and always will be, but she doesn’t move. Lexa just continues making those circles with her thumb.

“I knew that if I was out in the battlefield I could protect you. So I went to every battle, found a good vantage point and would watch. I watched for you every battle, I moved my location according to where you were spotted. I followed you with the sole purpose of taking out any Ice Nation soldier that attempted to kill you if I could, and occasionally I did have to kill some of your warriors solely to keep my cover. But, Lexa I never took any pleasure in pulling the trigger and ending one of your warriors’ lives. I am truly sorry for that, but I needed to keep you safe...Your life was the only one that mattered...” The tears are now steadily falling from Clarke’s eyes, and her head is now resting on Lexa’s shoulder, her face partially buried in her neck.

The two women sit in silence before Lexa pulls Clarke up and into her lap so she is cradling the crying blonde. Clarke speaks first, breaking the silence that had fallen on them. "I did hate you Lexa, for awhile but, you were right that night. I would have done the same you thing you did, sacrificed another's people for my own. I did do that. When I pulled that lever that irradiated Mount Weather, I chose my people over theirs. I can't hate you when I did the same thing..."

“Shh, Clarke, it is okay you were only doing what you felt you must to keep yourself alive. We all do what we must to survive, and this was no different,” whispers Lexa as she strokes Clarke’s hair; she presses a small kiss to the crown of Clarke’s head. “Come home now Clarke, come home with me,” Lexa pleads, her own voice cracking with emotion

Clarke simply nods, but when she looks up at Lexa she has a question on her lips. “Where is home though anymore Lexa? I am not the same girl I was before Mount Weather.”

Lexa smiles softly at Clarke, leans forward and kisses her softly, tentatively, but full of emotion. “Home can be with me Clarke. If you want…” Clarke only leans in to kiss Lexa again and whispers a faint yes against Lexa’s lips.

“Come we must return back to the battlefield, Indra will soon send scouts if I do not return soon,” Lexa moves to stand as does Clarke. The two begin to move down the ridge towards the loud victory cries coming from Lexa’s armies. As they walk, hand in hand, they pass a stream. Lexa stops and beckons Clarke over.

“Blue war paint does not suit you Princess,” and without another word Lexa rips a strip of cloth off her shirt and wets it before bringing it up to Clarke’s eyes and washing them clean of the Ice Nation war paint. She then dips the rag back into the water and brings it back to Clarke’s face and carefully wipes the woman’s face clean of any blood, dirt, or dried tears until it is no longer marred with the signs of battle and distress. Clarke begins to look like Clarke again, and Lexa smiles.

Lexa knows it will be hard for Clarke to come back and face everyone, her friends and family, but Lexa won’t let her do it alone, for she vows to never let Clarke face another mountain alone again, whether it be physical or mental.


End file.
